Week 7

Ranking Team Name



Schwie's Ladies

The constant Schwie brother bickering will not end at the temperature controls in the 323. The Schwie brothers have revived a competition that has dated back to the days of- which Schwie could tie their shoes faster or which Schwie could vandalize more of Roseville. If both Schwie's meet in the Super Bowl it will be a game to remember for the ages…


Playerz Club

There is already premature talk of an all Schwie Super Bowl. Easy boys it's only week 7. Oh wait, the season is already half over. Well then, let the celebration begin. The latest Super Bowl line is the Playerz Club by 5 over Schwie's Ladies.


D's Bitches

The AFC showdown of the year will take stage this week as D's Bitches face-off against Schwie's Ladies. Look for Edgerrin to bounce back and have a big game; although, it won't be enough as Robert Smith and Eddie George have huge games against sloppy defenses, lifting the Ladies to sole possession of first place.


Ghetto Blasters

This week on As The Massage Parlor Turns… Sebastian and Al decide to take a long weekend together and head up to the North Shore. Meanwhile, back in Shoreview, David laments his lost love by listening to REM's Everybody Hurts as he tears up pictures of him and Al. So while Al and Sebastian are taking long romantic hikes together and giving each other foot massages Al will earn another fantasy victory, fantasy football that is.


VooDoo Daddies

Last week David decided to bury the hatchet with Al. After work on Friday, David skipped over to the Massage Parlor to invite Al over for a steamy Monday night session of backrubs and Vikings football. To his dismay, David discovered that Sebastian had changed to line of hot oils from Rose Petal Delight (David's favorite) to Herbal Awareness (David is violently allergic to Rosemary and Mandrake Roots). While David locks himself in his bedroom this weekend tearing up old pictures of him and Al he will be delighted to see his team score a victory over the Johnnie Rats.


Mystery Machine

How the Mystery Machine is winning games is beyond me. I've seen more talent in the Roseville Mite flag football league. Josh is basically relying on Culpepper to carry his squad week in and week out. With Emmitt Smith facing a tough run defense look for the Mystery Machine to be firing a couple of cylinders short on Gameday.


Johnnie RATS

I have to give Tim credit, he has to have the funniest damn logo I have ever seen. No matter how bad of a day I am having, with one look at that logo and I can't help but to laugh. Maybe St. John's should consider adopting this as their new mascot. Anyways, Davis will see huge numbers from Harrison and Carter this weekend, but it will not be enough as he loses to the Lennies.



Showtime is back! Steve is riding a 2 game losing streak and has probably decided to call it a season. What a minute Steve, don't get so down on your team because they are going to win this week. Kurt Warner, Ricky Williams, and Eric Moulds will put up giant numbers as Steve pushes the Doctors closer and closer towards a losing season.



As sorry as Lenny's team has been, he will have a huge week, maybe even scoring more than 60 points for only the second time this year. Favre and Holt will manhandle opposing secondaries as the Lennies roll over the Asians.


Shock Doctor

This year the Doctors have been about as productive as Rob Wilson in a singles bar. Could they be any worse off? They have one runningback, Fred Taylor, who has the durability of a Firestone Tire; another RB, Duce Staley, who is about as consistent as Sebastian's mood swings, and two WR's, Keyshawn Johnson and Jimmy Smith, who have the consistency of tapioca pudding. C'mon Doctors, we expected a lot more from you guys than this…


Johnny's Mnemonics

I wish Nemo's team was doing better than 1-5, because I am really going to miss Nemstrdamus. The good news for Nemo is that his starters face rather easy defenses this week and should be able to put up respectable numbers. The question is, will it be enough to defeat Al? Close, but no.


Ragin' Asians

This team stinks worse than a St. John's frat party.