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Week 8

Ranking Team Name

Comments

1.

D's Bitches

Derek and his group of high profile studs have completely dominated the AFC. Look for Derek to make Lenny choke on some of that creamy brown popcorn we have heard so much about on the chat forum.

2.

Ghetto Blasters

Rumor has it that there has been a falling out at the massage parlor. Yesterday at the parlor, Sebastian, their young gay assistant, overheard Al complaining about Dave's new job and how he has no time for Al anymore. Bad news, Good news: The bad news is that Al is heartbroken; the good news is that Al has now refocused all of his time and energy into his fantasy team, rather than his late night steamy fantasy's with Dave.

3.

Playerz Club

Young Wes is determined to turn around his usual luck of winning big in the first half of the season and then slumping worse then the Minnesota Twins in the second half. Schwie has a solid stable of core players in Davis, Garner, and Brown. Look for Schwie to have a tight battle with Showtime.

4.

Showtime

WHAT, Steve Ellison is 2 games above .500 after only 4 games, and he has actually made a transaction. I guess we are really seeing the new and improved Steve. Kurt Warner should put up his usual 30 points, but look for the rest of the team to struggle this week.

5.

Schwie's Ladies

Schwie's offense has been about as powerful as Brad's old 323. Although, as luck would have it, he has seemed to face everybody at their worst. Look for Brad, led by a solid Jeff Garcia performance against Arizona, to squeak by the Johnnie Rats.

6.

Johnnie RATS

Tim Davis has done more than just shake up downtown on draft night. He has also shaken things up in the league this year. What team scores 18 points one week and the next week scores 117. UNBELIEVABLE! Although, this week the Jimmy Kleinsasser led Rats will suffer a mediocre week en route to a loss at the hands of Schwie and his pathetic Packer-little-girl or whatever the hell it is logo.

7.

VooDoo Daddies

Dave has grown quite jealous of Sebastian, the new assistant who took over Dave's spot at the massage parlor. The frustrated Bateson has even threatened several pathetic lawsuits against Al and Sebastian ranging from slander to international terrorism. The outlook here is that Dave will slide through week 5 with a victory over the Asians.

8.

Mystery Machine

Josh's lineup is about as ugly as a $5 date on Lake Street. Despite being 1-3, Josh has surprisingly put up big numbers and a convincing win over the Shock Doctors. Look for Mare, Smith, and Levens to put up some big numbers this week as the Mystery Machine to mysterious pull off a win this week against the Ghetto Blasters.

9.

Shock Doctor

Keyshawn Johnson, Duce Staley, Peter Warrick, Donovan McNabb… This team has more stiffs than the New York City morgue. Although the Doctors, finally led by big games from Taylor and Brunnell, should have enough to work over Nemo in week 5.

10.

Lennies

All I have to say is, who the hell is James Thrash?

11.

Johnny's Mnemonics

Nemo's backfield is about as pathetic as Wilson's Dean Witter jokes. The only bright spot on Nemo's squad is Peyton Manning; although, as we have seen in years past, one great player is not enough. Sorry Nemo, but you should start planning for the Toilet Bowl!

12.

Ragin' Asians

This morning, while I was having breakfast, I noticed Chaffee's picture on the back of a milk carton. Where the hell is this guy?